Mister Stupidhead

I come recently from biology class, where we spent the last hour working on genetic ratio equations. Thusly, I will begin this vent with a nice little ratio. The number of crazy amazing teachers I have, and the number of aggravating and freaking guhhhhhhh teachers I have come in a ratio of 2:1.

Mr. Ahenda in math is great because he spent a good part of today’s class personally teaching Selby and me the lesson we missed on Tuesday. It’s a relief, especially because he did it in such detail that it was a healthy substitute to actually being in class. I have at least a vague idea about what is going on in this unit now.

Mr. Martin in bio is great because he was somehow able to keep me awake in an academic class in last period on a Friday. I do say most teachers are hard-pressed to do that anyway, and today was extra special because I am still good and jet-lagged. Also, he gets bonus points for getting me to understand genetics pretty well so far.

Mr. Stupidhead in stupidclass… I don’t know that I am able to explain my rage in any words more descriptive than ones such as, ‘arrggghh’ and ‘rawwwrrrr’ and ‘guhhhh!!’ In any case, I articulated these words in great volume outside the classroom after the bell rang. I guess it’s only fair to explain why I must spend every second of that class resisting the urge to kill something.

To start, this teacher has proved himself only just competent enough to teach this class in the first place. He has the air of someone who has just begun using the programs, and I say this because he is obsessed with all the ‘cool effects’ they have to offer. It started with 3-D buttons and abysmal transparencies in Photoshop, and went from there.

Presently, we are working in trueSpace which is, tactfully, the most insane, finicky and retarded program I have ever had the misfortune of using. Our computers are too slow to run this program even though it seems outdated. To top it all off, I am terrible at it, and seem to be the only one in the class having major problems with it. (Except Josh, whose computer freezes and reboots itself every time he opens the program and draws a shape.)

Our first assignment is to make a cityscape, its focal point the Calgary tower. Are we allowed to make any other cityscape? Absolutely not. Deciding just to go along with his task without a fight at this point, I made my lop-sided, ugly tower, some other buildings, had the bottom plane green, added some streets and some pine trees. This is when he comes up behind me and said, ‘I told you guys that you were not allowed to have green in this assignment. This is an urban centre!’

I’m sorry, but there are a precious few trees in Calgary, and would putting them in truly impair my learning this program? After all, isn’t that what all assignments are truly there for in the first place? Also, he did not say anything about having no green, and not only that, he was commenting on Kim’s trees without saying she had to remove them.

Mr. Stupidhead has some sort of self-esteem complex, because at every second he is cracking some joke to make us think he is at all cool. “Hey guys, neuhehuh, eventually we will animate someone jumping off your Calgary towers and neuhehuh getting run over by a car at the bottom! Neuhehuh!!” (Because suicide is just that funny, particularly now.) I hope he recognizes, per Mark’s suggestion, that the person jumping off my building to get maimed at the bottom will bear a strong resemblance to himself.

I can’t wait until I’m out of that class for good. I’d never have believed that someday I’d prefer both biology and math to a computer course.