Exciting Times

I’ve got to finish up CALM today and tomorrow. This is stupid. I never used to procrastinate. But then again, I guess you just get more stuff that you feel like putting off as you get older. It’s kind of dumb… sometimes I miss being a little kid, but other times I wish I was twenty-something. I’m almost sixteen, though. I’ve liked that number ever since I heard the Sesame Street song dedicated to it when I was in nursery school. Hehe!

I have so many potential ideas for this site! I’ve had it for, what… two years? But not until now have I been so excited about it. Raaah, though! There’s so many great sites out there, how can mine even compare graphically? Kim and I were looking at this site—the graphics were awesome and the writing style was just hilarious. The kid was twelve years old. Twelve. When I was twelve, my site had 150×50 pixel buttons and a different midi on every page. (Hehe, Mr. Hagen was pretty proud of it, though!)

(1:01 AM) I’m going to try to make this quick but it’s going to be hard—I’m really hyper. Tonight was awesome! I went to Peter’s Drive-In with Kristen, Janet, Melissa, Manuela and Anita. I think something was wrong with me because I kept laughing at everything! Then again, I was with really funny people.

Wow, these are exciting times. There’s something special in store for our small group, and half of me is just waiting with a burning anticipation and the other half is starting to doubt that I’m ready for any of this. But I want to be ready. I don’t know if this is an attack or not, but I feel so left out sometimes. I don’t see visions and I feel stupid for it. (Ever heard the song Smell the Colour Nine? I am so there that it’s shocking. Every word of that song has or does apply to my life at some point.) Janet and I have been over this, I know, but it’s just so hard sometimes. Despite all of my fears, I think this coming year is going to inevitably be one of growth, and I am looking forward to it. Like Duane said tonight, I’m in good company.