Angels Fall Without You There

All because… I’ve become what you became to me.

These past few months have gone by incredibly fast. Even though it feels like I started as a youth leader just yesterday, it’s already been almost a whole school term. I don’t really know what I was expecting, but I’ve got to say I was pretty unprepared for how fast some of those girls considered me a friend. But then again, thinking back, it didn’t take long for me, either.

The first time Angie lead my small group’s bible study after Sandy stopped, I couldn’t go for some reason. Likely something to do with school or dance. I was wrought with fear that she’d misinterpret my absence as rejection of her, perhaps out of some kind of obstinate loyalty to Sandy. I remember praying against hope that she’d believe me that my not being at her first time leading really was just a coincidence. I didn’t know her personally at that point. I only knew she was Jared’s wife; not that I knew Jared very well, either.

I mention this because, try as I do, I cannot remember any time between virtually not knowing Angie, and adoring her.

Though, I do think I’m more “admiring” than most girls. I thrive on having someone to look up to. Ever since I was just a kid, I had strong role models. That is, role models I loved strongly. Idols, you could say, pretty much, though I never did follow them blindly. Still, I wanted to be them, or be like them. I can’t wrap my brain around anyone feeling this way about me. Did my role models think the same thing? I used to call Veronica my hero. I used to count the number of minutes until my next grade nine LA class.

I’ll try my best to be worth living up to. It’s one more reason to try to make good decisions in life.