Like a Butterfly

I think too much is based on looks these days. I have not been blessed with beauty, no questions. I was playing Harvest Moon 64 today and Maria, the shy librarian, said something like: “Popuri is so pretty. She’s like a butterfly. I wish I were pretty like her. Then maybe I’d have her confidence as well.” That hit me so hard, I pretty near replied out loud to my Nintendo game. I almost said, “Damn, Maria, I know exactly how you feel. It sucks being shy and ugly on top of it doesn’t it?” I got one of those annoying chain e-mails a few days ago. It said, ‘if you send this to two to five people, an ugly person will ask you out. If you send this to nine to twenty people, a hot person will ask you out.’ I thought, ‘Oh, yeah, it sucks when ugly people live, too.’ If I ask someone out, will they kick their locker and say, “Augh! I should have sent that e-mail to just a few more people!” And one time in LA class last year, Steve shared his philosophy with the class: “Life is too short to date ugly girls.” As if he was drop-dead gorgeous himself. The class laughed but that felt like a pinprick straight through my heart. If too many boys adopt his phrase, I’ll just die single. Some people I know will think that’s some hilarious joke but it’s not funny to me… I hate my looks so much right now.

“To test this gold for its worth is the same as testing me. And the fire burns easily today.” —Smalltown Poets