Down Here in the Valley
Every shadow you see
has its own story
Today I’m going to talk about something I don’t like: going on hikes.
It seems to be one of the things that very few agree with me on. I do understand why people like going on hikes, but no one gets why I don’t. And it kind of sucks!
I don’t consider myself a lazy person. I feel at my best when I’m being productive and getting things accomplished. It is this drive that pushes me to do things I don’t always want to do, but do want to get done. So, upon hearing that I don’t like going on hikes, when people assume I’m lazy, it makes me sort of defensive.
I will freely admit that I’m not in very good shape. The exercise I do get has been, for years, less about endurance and more about bursts of energy (ballet, frisbee, DDR, etc). This is probably near the heart of why I don’t like going on hikes.
I distinguish between saying “going on hikes” and “hiking” because really, I don’t hate hiking. I love nature, and I love the feeling of being out away from the chaos of the city. Walking around for an hour in the mountains is great! But that’s pretty much where things start to diverge, because no one goes hiking for one hour. Ever. So around that forty-five minute mark when I’m nearing the feeling of being ready to go home, I know there’s still a minimum of one or two more hours of uphill walking, and then the return trip back to the car. By then, I start experiencing a strange feeling of mingled frustration and boredom. I know not everyone is like this, but I am a strong intuit and a (very) weak sensor: every foresty mountain trail looks the same to me.
By the hour and a half mark, depending on who I’m hiking with, I’m either left behind in a trail of dust (no pun intended) or begging for breaks often. Or, if I’m really unlucky, it’ll be the mix of both where people will walk five minutes ahead of me, wait until I catch up (so they get a break) and then start walking again once I do catch up (and now want a break for myself). From my perspective, this isn’t something fun.
Some hikers will confess that the way up can be a bit agonizing. But, they say, the feeling of euphoria and accomplishment at the end makes it all worth it. I don’t know if my body is missing some kind of chemical or lacks synapses or something, but I have never gotten this feeling of euphoria. What I do get is an “I’m so exhausted I feel like I’m going to throw up” feeling. Usually this is accompanied with a primal lament that this is how I’m spending my free time. As for a feeling of accomplishment, I do actually get a flicker of this. At the “Trail End” sign, yes, it almost broke me but I made it. This feeling usually fades when (nearly invariably) someone in the group suggests we go a bit farther than the sign— I mean, there is still more forest to explore! Gosh, maybe we can look at even more trees! Or maybe we can see the vista from just a bit higher! Cue suicidal thoughts for me here. One leap off this jagged precipice and all this insanity could be over. So yes, it is hard to feel accomplishment when I feel like I can’t take another step and everyone else is not just willing but eager to walk a lot further.
There is a bit of a vicious circle at work, I know. Hiking is unnecessarily hard for me, so I rarely do it. I rarely do it, so when I do, it is unnecessarily hard. After I’ve busted my body and mind to make it up some mountain, given it everything I had and more, I come home and am sore for a week and a half. I tell people that I climbed up such-and-such mountain, and they laugh and tell me to try something challenging next time.
So, there is some of my reasoning. My mom’s convinced that she will one day “convert me”, but right now I have a hard time picturing myself saying, “guys, I have an idea, let’s go on a nice, long, soul-breaking hike! It’ll be fun!”
Gives me the shudders just thinking about it!
