By The Way…

So, in replying to one of Aaron’s comments in the last entry, I told him to fill out a customer comment card. By the way, don’t ever fill out a customer comment card at the zoo. They’re typed out and consolidated into several sheets of paper in spreadsheet form and put in the staff room for us to laugh at. I imagine the suits do skim over them, but mostly they just act as pre-shift hilarity for the entry-level staff! Seriously, comment cards are the funniest things you’ll ever read. On the card itself, there’s:

• What was the best part of your visit?
• What was the best part of your visit?
• What can we improve? and
• Where are you visiting from?

Now, the first time someone put, “where are the ligers?” on there, it was kind of funny. Ha, ha, Napoleon Dynamite fan. That’s great! The twentieth time, it’s not as funny.

One guy, in the best part of the zoo section, wrote, “seeing my little girl’s face light up as she watched the hippos!” Okay, well that’s quite poetic for a comment card, but sure! Then under the what can we improve section, he had written, “there needs to be more smoking sections in this zoo, and do you sell alcohol anywhere?” Wow, the poetry came crashing down. Did your girl’s face literally light up? That may have been a drunken hallucination!

There were actually quite a few cards reading, “the animals were boring”. Ah… yes… well, we’re in the process of getting legislation passed that will allow us to go into the animals’ cages and rile them up a bit with tazers! Won’t that be more fun? Seriously, people. Unlike the animals in Madagascar, our animals aren’t much concerned with putting on a good show. They’re more concerned with sleeping, as would I be!

One person put only two words on his comment card: “The bathroom”, under, what was the best part of your visit? Ummm… yes, I suppose the bathrooms are quite amazing, what with the indoor plumbing and exquisite… paper towels…

Three comment cards mentioned this guy Ryan, a zoo keeper who does the informational talks about the gorillas. One called him “very informative,” one called him, “friendly and nice,” and the last articulately wrote, “Ryan, the guy at the gorillas, was HOT!” Perhaps Ryan should have taken up modeling.

Almost all the rest of the comment cards I remember were about the food prices, quality and quantity. Here’s a secret that I have learned and will graciously share with you. If you get food at one of the major tourist locations in the city, especially when it is a fast food setting like Kitamba is, it probably will be overpriced and it probably isn’t going to be Cordon Bleu quality. Surprise!! Now you know!

Ok, I know all my talk of the zoo makes me sound very jaded and stuff. For the record, I’d still eat at the café, and I still like going to the zoo. It’s a pretty place and a good family environment. I have a hard time admitting the customers probably aren’t as stupid as they come off, but I will begrudgingly admit it.