I Like Watching Puddles Gather Rain
It is insane to think that the my first year of college is completely done. This year went so quickly. And if I would have known from the beginning that it was going to be so needlessly easy, maybe I would have even tried to get a job close-by to get some extra money. They should just compress that digital graphics course into one year. It wouldn’t be hard. Oh, but students might actually get homework; yes, homework in a college diploma program, how novel. Come to think of it, I really wonder, if I didn’t have the rest of my life to stress over if I would have died of boredom by now. But another idea hit me just recently —apathy as a coping mechanism. Fits, huh? I’d say it’s a pattern of mine to worry about something until I don’t care about it anymore. Until I’ve said to myself, “don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” so many times that I believe it?
That’s why I really need to not stress over things. Because I can imagine an apathetic lifetime, and it looks long and hopeless. And who wants that? So a better approach is to be optimistic. Yes! I will find some life direction and end up doing something I love! To truly think about it, it is absurd to expect that I should know, at eighteen, what course I want my whole life to take. I need to kick my INFJ butt into focusing on the present instead of the future. My newest idea has been that I like to proof-read things but I don’t have the guts to be an English teacher. However, what about a novel editor? Or an anything editor? I could put those “grammar nazi” tendencies to use for people who, unlike freaks like me, don’t care about comma splices and sentence fragments…
On a slightly more sane note, this month seems to have been babysitting month for some reason. On Thursday I babysat Paige and on Sunday I babysat three kids who go to the Sunday service at my church but I’d never met them before then. Okay, Paige is the cutest, cutest baby I have ever seen. No one should be that cute! And she was good, too. She only cried once or twice. And then the three kids were also cute and very good for me. I’d say that, in my experience, babysitting girls is easier. Or at least, takes less energy somehow. I can’t really think of a reason for why that would be, mostly because I think it may have just so happened that I have only sat for really good girls.
Last night Kim and I went over to Jen’s house to watch Congo… because Jen wanted to. She really is the queen of having unexplainable urges to watch strange, obscure movies. But whatever, it was fun. Tonight they came over here and we made new avatars for the forum and watched the Lost recap. We thought it’d be a new episode but it wasn’t!
