A Bigger Plan

Sometimes I feel like I just can’t do it.

It’s hard, alright, I know it is. But it all comes down to the fact that without God in the picture, there is absolutely no real point to life. You can make up theology, you can believe only the parts of the Bible that you see in ‘get well’ cards, but that still won’t get you anywhere. Believing in lies, self-made or not, doesn’t change the truth. It never has. There are times that I wished I could sit there and tear pages out of the Bible and just leave the verses that sounded good to me. But that’s not how things were meant to be. Believe me, I wish that everyone could go to heaven no matter what they believed, too—it would make my life so much easier. No more crying for my friends, no more laying awake at night wondering how I’ll manage without them there with me. But no matter how much I’d wish it to be true, it would make no difference because God has a bigger plan for everything.

I had a friend tell me that if he were in heaven looking down on the fallen, he’d feel a savage rage towards God for sending them there. I would feel rage too, but it wouldn’t be directed at God. It would be directed at myself for failing them. For putting my beliefs aside so I could be accepted by them.

Slowly, I’m coming to a point where nothing shallow matters to me anymore.