It’s When You Cry Just a Little

But you laugh in the middle, that you’ve made it.

This past Saturday marked the last recital and final closure of my long-time dance school, and the evening was great and emotional like I knew it’d be. I caught up with quite a few people at Kim’s place recently, watching dance tapes, but it was really great to see Lizie, Jen and Shannon again.

I hope I never have to see myself on tape for that finale song. Risers and chaine turns don’t play well together for people like me. I just hope no one was looking at my feet. The turns probably looked rushed, but I figured that was better than going all out, losing my footing and falling off the platform into the back curtain. Kind of would have ruined the moment!

In any case, at this point of closure, it’s hard not to remark upon how dance lessons have affected my life over the years. Yet for all the time I spent there, it’s a little hard to say definitively how it’s changed me. And that’s just because I think the effects would be subtle, but of course, positive.

For one, there were the role models. I looked up to the older dancers a lot in my impressionable years. I knew, though, that I’d never be able to fully emulate Amanda in dance skill. But she was more than a good dancer. She was classy, authoritative, and she didn’t swear. She had a way of balancing out for us the notion that we should work hard in our dancing, but not at the expense of our happiness.

I had no delusions, even then. I’m not a ballerina. I didn’t pick up choreography quickly (but did remember it for years once I had), I lacked avid determination, and I was far too tall and lanky in adolescence to be a beautiful dancer. I was there for the fun of it, but I don’t regret that. Because that’s really what it was about for Amanda at the end of the day, what she based her school on. I guess what I’m the most thankful to her for is the opportunity to be in a setting where, yes, dances and technique should be practiced with discipline, but it wasn’t cause for a meltdown when I (often) fell behind and messed up. Life really did go on in a way that it wouldn’t have in the competitive dance schools.

So now, despite my training, I still dance like a dork at weddings and parties. But if it hadn’t been for years of recitals, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that I’d be too shy to whip out any dance moves, anywhere. Even if not for that, dance had a lot of good memories attached to it, and a lot of friends.

Good run, Funtastic Danceworks, and thanks for everything. ♥