It’s In Your Reach. Concentrate.

Every time I rise, I see you falling.

Ugh. I’ve been feeling so conflicted lately about things. About perspective, really. Sometimes, perspective can really wake me up and get me to stop complaining about stuff, and I like that. Other times, I wonder if I just use it as an excuse when I want to shy away sticking up for myself.

I’m aware of how good we have it here in Canada. I think it’s great that as a woman I can have a job and the opportunity to be completely independent financially. I think it’s great that there are labour laws that protect us from being brutally overworked against our will. I didn’t get my first real job until I was in grade eleven, so, you know, I really got to enjoy my childhood. And, minimum wage, yeah it’s actually pretty high when you consider the millions of people in the Third World working for peanuts, perhaps literally, unfortunately.

When I think about stuff like this, it makes me think that I never have the right to complain about anything, ever. Ever. Because to take things like that for granted is just plain ungrateful, right? On the other hand, I don’t live in a Third World country, I live here. Is asking for a raise greedy? I truly do see this as a moral grey area.

The other place I’m having true difficulty in is… how much complaining in life is okay? I try to be stoic about things, I really do. But sometimes things… or people… are just too much. I feel bad for André. I whine to him so often! But, I need to know… isn’t it better to voice when you’re unhappy? I mean if someone always does something that you hate, isn’t it bad to just pretend that you like it or don’t mind it?

I don’t know.