Could You Forgive Yourself
If you left her just the way you found her?
I’ll stand in front of you, and take the force of the blow—
Protection
I don’t know if there’s such a thing as damsel in distress syndrome, but if there is, I have it. When I was very, very young I used to fantasize at night about being held captive by the Sea Witch (from the Little Mermaid) so that Prince Eric would come rescue me.
I can’t decide what exactly this means, even now, years later. I haven’t lost the tendency of yearning for a protector. I kept this to myself until now because in general I think there’s a stigma held strongly towards helpless damsels, possibly for good reason. Still, I hold that there’s another face to them.
It’s easy to picture “the damsel” as being weak. That’s the point, isn’t it? She needs saving and protecting to survive. Some damsels in the media need the protective supervision of a toddler. On their own, they attract mortal peril often enough that they need a man to watch out for them constantly. Luckily, each of them has a designated saviour.
I suppose these are the types of characters that it’s hard to have much respect for. To some extent I think base human nature reveres independence and self-sufficiency. As do I, so why is it that I still find the idea of a woman being protected by a man so lovely and beautiful?
It’s because, to me, protection is a form of exaltation. Done for the right reasons, it sends a message to the woman: “You are worth protecting; I couldn’t stand to lose you.” In that case, she is more of an idol than a damsel. Like Helen of Troy, the face that launched a thousand ships. It may not always be beauty though, which is lucky for some of us. It can be age (people tend to protect children instinctively), innocence, or a sweet personality.
I’ve always wanted to be the girl that God forbid anything bad happen to.
“They don’t get gone, you’d better start locking up your room at night. Next time little sister gets in a murdering mood, it might be you she comes calling on.” (pause) “Maybe Kaylee.”
It’d just be a nice feeling. But I digress: back to the helpless damsels. We don’t like that word “helpless”. We don’t like thinking of ourselves or anyone else as incapable of self-preservation. But actually, the spiritual reality of it is that we all are helpless and must rely fully on God for our salvation. This is the reason I don’t really mind seeing characters written as damsels in distress. We are all in distress. And it’s an interesting reminder that weakness isn’t always a bad thing. Because mostly, damsels get their happy ending.
Love the Firefly quote.
Waaaaaay back, I was part of a study with a bunch of guys, where part of it was studying gender roles, and how masculinity and femininity played parts. I wish I remembered more of it, but it made the point that you did here- it’s not necessarily that the woman needs to be protected, but that she feels like she’s worth protecting.
I know that I, as a man, struggle a lot with feeling helpless, but it’s something that, as you said, we need to deal with. Because we ARE helpless under God. He calls us to be weak and broken before him. He knows our weaknesses as well as our strengths.
I get the feeling sometimes that some people want to erase gender roles to achieve equality. When it comes down to it, most guys are physically stronger than most women. Back in more savage times, this mattered more. These days, girls generally don’t need full-out body guards most of the time, but still, men remain the symbolic protector. I don’t really have a problem with it.