How’s It Going to End?

Things have been kind of crazy lately, so I’m sort of just processing everything right now. In a way. I mean, it hasn’t been that crazy, but busy, I’ll say busy.

Thursday was Cailee’s dance show and it was awesome! I like that some dance companies have the guts and creativity to do something totally different. Because, not to bash FD, but all of my recitals were more or less the same. With a lot of solos by eleven-year-olds with moderate talent at best. (Although not all of them. I always liked watching the solos of my close friends, and Shannon’s solos were always great, but she was kind of a special case.) And not that FD didn’t have a lot of thought put into themes. It just all boiled down to the same choreography in the end; chasé step leap and variants of. Eko’s show really was kind of a breath of fresh air. And I think one of my favorite things was the music choice. It was all eclectic and different. Tom Waits!! Tom Waits! Hell, yeah. No ‘Ain’t Never Gonna Break My Stride’ or Michael Jackson. (Great songs to dance to, but used a lot.)

Then Friday I handed in my math assignment that I did at midnight the night before (hehe, fail!) and then went to Jean’s first class. It was brutal and, as always, we did absolutely nothing. And usually when people say that about their classes, they mean “nothing of value”. No. In this class, she handed out some blank dockets and then essentially said, “look at these for the rest of the period; you generally know what all this means, but look at it anyways.”

For that reason, about nine of us skipped the second part of her double class. (And from a report from those who went, in the second class she did some “review”. Thing is, review of what?? Of the stuff we already know backwards and forwards?) We went to the Gate. I actually almost didn’t get in because I don’t have a government-issued ID (I must get my license… damn…). But I got in on the condition that I didn’t drink anything, which worked out bloody well considering that was a really good excuse not to drink. Because I wouldn’t have anyways.

Then today I started babysitting at eight in the morning. I have to say that babysitting for a whole day was way harder than babysitting for two hours (obviously, but I mean way harder). I have an offer to babysit for that family full-time during the summer. As always, I don’t know what to do. I need a job in the graphics industry; it’s really not about the money, it’s about getting established in a job that I can move up in. So I can eventually make money. Because isn’t that the sad, sad point of it all?

If I didn’t ever have to worry about supporting myself, I could volunteer. Hardcore. I could do kids camps all summer, and sew blankets and make newsletters and websites for non-profit organizations. But I have to be selfish with my time because I can’t free-load off my parents forever, and I’ll have to get a job that will allow me to eat and live on my own. (That has an air of complaining. I don’t mean to complain, I’m just saying…)

Reality bites, which is probably why I am drawn to stuff like Hogwarts Moo, where they had a whole whack of April Fool’s day fun last night. I actually was laughing out loud at some parts, it was so awesome. And tonight I plan on escaping reality by seeing the Ring two, so I can come home and think, “well, my life isn’t so bad! At least a demonic child is not in possession of my soul and wreaking havoc over my loved ones!”

“At least, I don’t think so!”